Alternatives to Court > Q&A

This chapter contains questions and answers on the topics addressed in this section up to 1 February 2006:

Note that a lot more questions having to do with separation agreements and issues like custody, property, and enforcing agreements can be found the other Q&A chapters of this site.

Please note that questions and answers are posted in each section in reverse-chronological order, with the oldest first; as this website has been operating for three years or so, older answers may not represent an up-to-date statement of the applicable law. As well, not all questions and answers submitted to the author have been posted; while individual users will always receive an answer to their questions, answers to questions which are substantially similar to those already posted will not be added to this webpage.

Mediation

My partner appears to be fine with the person we picked to be our mediator, but I simply don't like her and she doesn't appear to listen as carefully to my point of view. What can I do?

Mediation is a co-operative process and requires that the parties trust each other and work with each other under sometimes emotionally difficult circumstances. This includes the mediator. If you're not happy with your mediator or, worse, you've lost your trust in the mediator's impartiality, you should consider proposing that a new mediator be hired. This may mean that some time will be lost as the new mediator picks up the background of the case and gets to know each of you, but your faith and trust in your mediator are critical to successful mediation. Hopefully your partner will be sympathetic to your problem and will consent to the hiring of a new mediator.

Arbitration

We're arguing about child support. What rules should we pick to govern our arbitration?

The Commercial Arbitration Act, the provincial law that governs the arbitration process, says that people involved in arbitration cannot opt out of the rules set out in the Divorce Act and the Family Relations Act. Since both acts use the Child Support Guidelines to make decisions about child support, it is the Child Support Guidelines that you must use in your arbitration.

Collaborative Law

My husband and I have been going through the process for a couple of meetings now and he just refuses to be flexible. He is insisting that he have the children for half the time, but I think they'd be better off with me. There is just no way he's going to bend on this point. Should we continue with the collaborative process?

Flexibility is an essential requirement for either mediation or collaboration to work. Firstly, you should meet with your divorce coach and assess whether your position is reasonable or not. If afterwards you still think you're in the right and that things should be the way you want, express that view at your next meeting, being careful to provide a list of good, solid reaons why the children should live with you for most of the time. If your husband still won't modify his position on the matter, it may be that you will have to have a judge make a decision. If this is the only sticking point in the process however, you should consider continuing on with the collaborative process and try to resolve all the other issues. This will limit the matters that a judge has to consider to the children alone and should save you some legal fees.

Other Issues

Minutes of Settlement

My ex-husband and I finally agreed to settle our legal issues. The terms of our agreement were reduced to a simple Minutes of Settlement form and signed and witnessed. He is now refusing to accept the settlement because he wants to change something. Can I go to court to enforce the terms of the executed Minutes of Settlement or does the whole legal battle begin again? (by A of Toronto, ON)

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