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Month: February 2017

7 Things You Should Now About Divorce When You Have Kids

7 Things You Should Now About Divorce When You Have Kids

During the process of a divorce, couples have immense financial and psychological impact on their lives. It often makes them hard to function.  No matter how difficult the situation may be, you should let your good judgment disappear because of your anger. You should put aside your feelings about your ex and try to lead a healthy life for your children. You should know the following things about divorce when you have children.

You should say bad things about your ex

You shouldn’t say anything bad about your ex in front of the children. The kid belongs to both the parents. So, if you tell anything bad about your ex, the kids will feel bad too.

Support your child’s relationship with your ex

 

You should learn co-parenting skills. Both parents have the right over the child. You should support the relationship your kid has with your ex. You should focus on your child’s need to love and be loved by both the parents.

Maintain good relationship with your child

Your ex-partner may be manipulative and persuade your child not to talk to you. You shouldn’t pull yourself away from the child. No matter how hard it is, you should try to have a healthy relationship with your child. You shouldn’t let your child have any bitter feelings towards you.

Don’t use your child for emotional support

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It can be very exhausting to be a single parent. There might be financial stress, grief, and social isolation. You might feel depressed all the time. But you shouldn’t cry on your child’s shoulder. If you find it difficult to tolerate, then you must talk to a therapist, family or friends.

You should remember that not each problem is related to divorce

You shouldn’t blame every problem on divorce. If you feel guilty, then you will be more burden on your shoulder, and it will hurt you and your child more.

You should be civil in front of your kids

You should be careful with the words you use and the body language you use as well. Your child will observe your behavior closely and learn from it. You should let your child know that you are making every effort to make your child better.

You should know when to talk about divorce

You should know the right time to talk about divorce. You should share information that is age appropriate. You should make an effort to make sure that they have a normal childhood.

Divorce is not only difficult for the couples, but for the children as well. You should forget about your feelings about your previous marriage and focus all your attention on the well-being of your children. Every child needs to have a normal childhood, and you should try to give your children just that.

 

5 Tips For Choosing The Best Right Lawyer

5 Tips For Choosing The Best Right Lawyer

When you are thinking of divorce, it can be hard to know where you should go for legal advice. Finding the right lawyer is important to help you overcome this difficult phase in your life. Here are some tips that can help you to find the right lawyer for divorce.

Remain focused on the goal

Your goal is to get a divorce without major depreciation of your present lifestyle. When negotiating things, don’t let your emotions come on the way. Your divorce may turn out to be more expensive if you do so. Your focus should be to get divorced quickly with minimum financial damage.

Know what you want

Before hiring a divorce lawyer, you should know what you want. If you don’t have children or don’t need any financial support, then you can hire a mediator to help you. Mediation is faster and cheaper than hiring a divorce lawyer. If your negotiations are complicated, then you must hire a good divorce lawyer.

Shortlist a number of lawyers

You shouldn’t hire the lawyer you meet first. You should do your research and shortlist few lawyers before making your final decision. Before choosing you should consider the legal knowledge and the experience of the lawyer.

Interview potential lawyers

You should interview the lawyers you have shortlisted and ask what type of clients they represent. You should ask them about their rates.

Look out for red flags

Some lawyers will give you false information to get the deal. There is no guarantee in this type of cases. So, you should move away from those lawyers who provide a guarantee for their work. You should be cautious about lawyers who discuss high profile clients. Good lawyers don’t disclose confidential information about other clients.

You should choose someone who is knowledgeable, experienced and a good communicator. You should be able to trust the lawyer. You must feel comfortable to work with the lawyer. By following these tips, you can get the right lawyer for your divorce.

5 Common Challenges People Face After A Divorce

5 Common Challenges People Face After A Divorce

Though divorce has become very common these days, dealing with it is still very challenging. Many people consider it as a personal failure, but actually, both the partners are responsible for it. Here are the most common challenges you are likely to face after a divorce.

Heartbreak

You were once in love with dreams and hopes. That dream just suddenly turns into a nightmare. You will suffer from depression and lack of motivation. You may start assuming that if you have a future partner, the consequence will be same. You should learn how to cope with this emotional turmoil.

Adjusting to the new reality

You have to leave your home and may be away from your children. You have to cut ties with friends and families. You may feel isolated. These new circumstances may feel surreal, but you should take some time to understand that life is different now and you need to move on.

Doing things alone

Before you used to go to places with your ex-husband, now you have to go alone. You used to do things together like laundry or paying bills; now you have to do these by yourself. You should be patient during this period of your life.

Dealing with children

It is not easy to be a single parent. You should ask teachers, friends, and families for help when needed. You should consider seeing psychologists as well to make you feel better.

Financial difficulties

After a divorce, you have to rethink about your spending habits. You may have a financial crisis; so you have to control your spending habits. You may have to ask your family for financial help.

First few months after divorce can be challenging. You will need to cope up with several new things. But you should be mentally strong and have the patience to deal with this new situation in your life.

5 reasons why people get divorced after decades of marriage

5 reasons why people get divorced after decades of marriage

There are many couples who get divorced even after staying together for 20 years. This type of divorce is often called ‘gray divorce.’  The rate of such kind of divorce is increasing. Here are the reasons why.

They grow apart

Gray divorce doesn’t occur suddenly. It slowly builds up. You cannot see the small cracks in the relationship until it completely shatters. Hormonal changes can affect your relationships. Often, the woman feels that she has given up too much for this relationship. She might have sacrificed her career for looking after the children. She feels that there wasn’t any collaborative effort in the relationship.

Their age

At the beginning of marriage, the huge age difference is usually not an issue. But once they get older, the differences start to appear. At certain periods of life, people go through biological and physiological ‘brain upgrades.’ You want to go back to your old days. So, starting a relationship with someone younger satisfies their urges.

They become bored

People start to feel bored. Being with the same person for 24 hours make people bored. So, they want to experience something exciting in their life. For this reason, they start looking to start a new relationship.

Financial issues

Financial problems and differences in spending habits can lead to divorce. One partner may spend too much, while the other partner may want to save money. This difference in financial approach leads to divorce.

Sex

Sexual incompatibility becomes more prominent as you grow old. Hormonal changes can cause a lot of shift in sex drive. The differences in desire can lead to the breakup of a relationship.

You should talk to each other if you don’t like certain aspects of your partner or the relationship you are having. Open discussion is an effective way to solve an issue in a relationship. Don’t wait until the last moment to solve a problem in your relationship.