| |
|
|
|
|
| |
|
|
|
Children & Child Support Children To keep it short, this is a very brief description of the situation. I am a single gay male who has been asked to father a child with a lesbian couple whom I am good friends with. My role would not only be as the sperm donor, but also as the father in what I call a co-parenting relationship. My question is how can the three of use have equal legal rights to the child? As I understand it, if I allow the non-paternal Mom to adopt the child, I give up all rights to the child. I would appreciate any guidance that you have to offer on this entire matter. We all reside in the province of Alberta. (by R of Edmonton, AB) Well, you've got an interesting problem to say the least. Unfortunately,I can't actually specifically answer your question, since the law that will apply to your situation will be Alberta provincial law, and all I know in any detail is federal and BC laws. First, some background. The way the law conceived biological parenthood is that there are but two biological parents. The law does not accommodate, at present, the idea of more than two parents. In your case, the biological parents of the child will be you and the woman who carries the baby to term. The mother's partner will not be a "parent" of the child, and cannot be a "parent" of the child unless she adopts the child. This is where the laws of Alberta kick in. BC is one of the few provinces that allows same-sex adoption. No offence to your premier, but I doubt that Alberta permits same-sex adoption. Read the provincial Adoption Act. Say Alberta does allow same-sex adoption. With your consent, as a biological parent, you could allow the mother's partner to adopt the child. The effect of the adoption would be to strip you of all entitlement at law; your status as biological parent would be irretrieveably stripped from you and transferred to the mother's partner. You would have no standing to apply to court for custody, guardianship or access; at the same time, you lose all obligations with respect to child support. If, on the other hand, Alberta law does not permit same-sex adoption, the mother's partner could never adopt the child. The mother has two choices now: list you as the father or don't list anyone as the father. If you are listed as the father, you have the presumptive right to be involved in your child's life. If you are not listed as the father and the mother and her partner live together in a common-law relationship (assuming that the laws of Alberta that deal with common-law relationships apply to same-sex couples, which you should not for a moment assume to be the case), you might theoretically have a bundle of rights on par with the mother's partner. At the end of the day, you are likely to be seriously hamstrung by Alberta's rather backwards social policies and how those policies are reflected in their provincial legislation. Even if their legislation were as progressive as BC's, you still have the difficulty of dealing with a more-than-two-people parenting arrangement. What I would suggest - and please take this with a grain of salt, given my iffy knowledge of Alberta provincial laws - is that the solution might be for the three of you to draw up a "parenting agreement," a family contract that deals with:
This contract will be binding between the three of you, but given the state of Alberta's legislation, I have no idea whether it'll hold up if challenged in court. At least it gives all three of you a good-faith structured agreement to start with. I strongly encourage you to talk to a gay-friendly family law lawyer in your neighbourhood to get a proper legal opinion about your situation. I hope this works out for you. Click here to go to the top of the page. Site Navigation
Go back to the Q&A Index. Section Menu
The Legal System · Alternatives to Court · Children · Child Support · Spousal Support Resources Menu
Site Map & Index · Legislation · Resources & Links · Definitions · Feedback Please ensure you take the time to read these important legal notices. |
|
